


Float On

by ChameleonCircuit



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, M/M, Pre-Relationship, post episode 4x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 22:26:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17816675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit
Summary: It was hard to ignore what he’d overheard. Will tried, he really did, but every time he saw Connor and Ava interact at work, he was reminded of that conversation, of the countless other things he’d witnessed between them that suddenly seemed to add up to something big.But it wasn’t his place to say anything. He knew that. He knew that talking to Connor would mean admitting he’d been eavesdropping on a very private, very delicate conversation. It wasn’t his place.





	Float On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keraunoscopia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keraunoscopia/gifts).



> Just a little episode tag because I need my boys to have someone to lean on.
> 
> For keraunoscopia, who was my inspiration and my beta :)

It was hard to ignore what he’d overheard. Will tried, he really did, but every time he saw Connor and Ava interact at work, he was reminded of that conversation, of the countless other things he’d witnessed between them that suddenly seemed to add up to something big.

But it wasn’t his place to say anything. He knew that. He knew that talking to Connor would mean admitting he’d been eavesdropping on a very private, very delicate conversation. It wasn’t his place.

And yet, when he saw Connor sitting alone at Molly’s, face drawn and tired, staring into his drink, he couldn’t help himself.

“Hey,” he said lightly, hovering just a little.

“Hey.” 

Connor turned, offering what would have been a warm smile if it had actually reached his eyes, and Will felt a pang in his gut at not having noticed just how bad things were sooner.

“Mind if I…?” He trailed off, and Connor waved a hand for him to sit, turning back to his drink “Thanks.”

Once he had a beer in his hand, his stomach flipped with sudden nerves, goosebumps rising on his arms. He’d never been good at this, never been good at handling heavy conversations, even in relation to someone else’s burden. He wasn’t sure comforting came naturally to him. He had empathy in abundance, so much it hurt sometimes, so much he made stupid decisions simply because he couldn’t handle what he was feeling. But comfort was a skill he was sure he didn’t possess.

“Ah…” he began before clearing his throat, turning towards Connor. “Is everything okay? With you?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Connor asked with a frown, throwing him a glance, and Will felt his stomach flip again.

“With you and Ava,” he clarified, itching to reach out, to touch Connor on the arm, to assure him that whatever it was, it was okay, Will was in his corner.

“We’re fine. We’re working through some things,” Connor said with a small huff that might have been a laugh if he didn’t sound so wrecked. “Has someone said something?”

“I overheard your conversation with Dr. Bekker,” he admitted in a rush, forcing himself not to look away.

Connor turned to look at him again, and for a moment he just seemed confused. Until it dawned on him. Will expected anger to follow, the kind of rage Connor always seemed capable of leveling at only him, the kind of rage that seldom came out but could be felt a mile away when it happened. But instead, Connor just deflated somewhat, shaking his head as he swallowed hard.

“I know it’s none of my business,” Will continued before Connor could say anything. “So if you tell me to drop it, I’ll drop it, but...I’m worried about you.”

Connor’s jaw clenched, nose twitching, and for a moment Will thought he might hit him, felt his own body tense in response. But instead, he looked down at his drink before downing its contents in one large gulp, and when he looked back up, the walls seemed to have come crashing down. Connor looked more broken than ever, like all his pain and insecurity and exhaustion was leaking out of him, unable to be contained anymore.

Will felt a pang deep in his gut as he looked back at Connor, pain reflecting pain, the true state they were both in, and he couldn’t help but laugh, because if he didn’t, he was sure he might cry instead.

“We’re a sorry pair, aren’t we?” Will muttered, taking a sip from his drink, and Connor huffed a wet laugh in response.

“Yeah,” he breathed out shakily, and the sound of it seemed to ripple through Will, tearing something inside of him as it went, brutal in its delicacy.

It struck Will then, that he’d never quite seen Connor like this, had never quite seen what was underneath that cool, always-in-control facade, and his kind, soft-smiles demeanor with patients. He’d seen glimpses of this, this pain that was lurking somewhere deep down inside of him; with Robin, and moments here and there since. But he’d never quite seen Connor quite so raw and exposed, cracked open in a way that seemed almost irreparable, and the full extent of everything he’d gone through in the past couple of years hit Will like a freight train, winding him in the process. 

The thought of Connor having gone through everything alone tugged at his heart in a way he hadn’t quite expected, and he felt a lump rising in his throat, had to swallow it down hard. He reached out, placing a hand on Connor’s shoulder, hoping it could convey what he couldn’t seem to put into words; I’m here, it’s okay, you can talk to me, I’m in your corner.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Connor admitted in a broken whisper, bowing his head. “Maybe...maybe she’s right and—“

“Don’t do that to yourself,” Will said, tone far more fierce and urgent than he’d intended. “Okay? I don’t know what’s going on, not really, but you doubt her for a reason, right? Trust those instincts.”

Connor scrubbed a hand over his face before turning to look at Will again, eyes red-rimmed and watery. Will gave his shoulder a small squeeze, forcing down his own emotion, his response to Connor’s vulnerability.

“I dunno,” Connor shrugged. “After Robin, I just...I don’t know anymore. It makes sense, but it also doesn’t.”

He shook his head, turning back to the glass in front of him, ice clinking as he tilted it from side to side, focusing on its watery contents, and Will sighed, letting his hand fall from his shoulder to the back of his chair.

“Talk to me.”

Connor snorted, shaking his head. “You’ve got enough on your plate without—“

“And I’m dealing with that.” It wasn’t a lie, per se, but it was barely the truth, either. Still, Will wanted to forget about himself for a while, and there was no way he could walk away from this now, let it go when he knew just how much it was affecting Connor. “Offer’s there, if you wanna talk.”

They sat in silence for what felt like forever, and Will couldn’t tell whether it was a dismissal, or whether Connor needed the silent company. He moved to stand, figuring he wasn’t going to get anything more from him that night, when Connor turned to face him front on for the first time since he’d arrived.

“What about you and Natalie?”

Will felt his stomach curl instantly, heart beating wildly against his ribs. He wasn’t sure when thinking of Nat had turned from butterflies to this, but more than anything, he just wanted things to be the way they were. Before.

He licked his lips, ducking his head. “What about me and Natalie?”

Connor just nodded in response, resting his hand atop of Will’s for just a moment, but that moment felt electric, had goosebumps rising on Wills skin, throat tightening.

“You can talk to me, too, you know,” he said gently, resting back to look at Will. “Any time. It goes both ways."

Will nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat as he reached for his beer. “Look at us.”

“You’re right, we are a sorry pair,” Connor said with a laugh, and Will laughed in response, shaking his head as he looked away.

When he glanced back, Connor was smiling softly at him, and Will couldn’t help but return that smile, shifting to sit just a little bit closer.

Connor still looked exhausted, eyes deep and sad and hollow despite the touch of light brought to them from a genuine smile, but he looked lighter, happier, and Will found that some of the tension and pain had eased inside of him, too. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something, and with his knee resting against Connor’s, it felt like maybe things could be okay again for both of them one day.


End file.
